I was once married for just over ten years and with the same person for 7 years prior to that. Shortly after my marriage ended at the age of 46, I joined Findsomeone and I had been on the site off and on for best part of 3 years. Over that time I must have corresponded with what must have been close to two hundred women, met around one hundred for coffee, seriously dated at least ten and finally ended up with one that I feel I have the makings of a committed lifelong partnership with.

Karen and I have been together now just short of two years now and our friendship, respect, trust and love towards each other has steadily grown over that time to catch up with the raw physical attraction we initially enjoyed and still do.

What I learnt about relationships and myself over the time spent on Findsomeone I could write several books on filled with stories of encounter, friendship, excitement, hope, love, disappointment, heart ache and despair. Searching for an ideal mate can be an exhausting tiring time consuming process that grinds many down to a state of resignation. Over my time on Findsomeone I did grow tired of what seemed like the continual search for a mate. The repeating cycle of getting to know someone, hoping it will last and picking yourself up or consoling someone when it all ends.

However over my time on Findsomeone I got clearer about what I needed and wanted to attract into my life so that when I finally did meet someone who was really right for me, who seemed to fit into my life and mine in theirs, I had the confidence, courage and experience to let her know and direct the relationship towards what it is today. A "growing" love connection.

Relationships are not always straight forward nor simple. My experience is that most are complicated, and made more so by hidden agendas, unrealistic expectations, children's needs and ex-past partners who are not as ex as we thought! I know from experience that meeting someone who you really like and are attracted to is a good start. Getting through the first 12 weeks is a significant hurdle and personally getting through to almost two years now with someone with the vision of Karen as being my life partner makes me grateful that all the other women who dumped me actually did so!

My advice to others who are actively searching for someone would be, give some thought into being clear about what you want to attract into your life and what you have to offer. If someone says they want fun, are recently out of a long term relationship, are not ready to settle down, are not good communicators, don't want children and like generous men who can wine and dine them three times a week, believe them and if what they say isn't you, avoid them like the plague. Don't go there! It will only end in pain!

Another important learning is that love is just a word to describe a feeling and feelings change much to our surprise and at times shock! Don't call what you experience as love towards someone love. Call it something else, anything else! Call it "I like you a lot", call it "lust", call it "I'm wildly attracted to you". Only call it love when it is backed up with actions and commitment. If someone says they love you shortly after meeting them, don't believe them! They mean well but in my opinion are deluded.

Finally, when you meet someone who you want to peruse let them know and don't complicate your life by seeing other people. Give it a good honest go. If you want to see other people that tells you something. If you don't want to see others that also tells you something! Either way you know something pretty important and the clearer you can let your prospective partner know that the better the chances are of creating something powerful, long lasting and enriching for the both of you.

There is that saying that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before One turns into a prince. I like the version that goes something like; sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before You turn into a prince.